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The 25 Species of Coworkers

coworker 300x240 The 25 Species of CoworkersThey might be lurking in the cubicle next to you or lounging in a cushy corner office. They could be e-nagging you daily or haunting your dreams at night. That’s right, the people you work with have the power to influence, annoy, inspire, and scare the living daylights out of you (work nightmares, anyone?).

Since you’re stuck with them 40 hours a week (at least!) you might as well understand them. Alice Handley and Kayla Baxter, from adminsecret.com, have come up with a field guide to the most common species of coworkers, no matter where you work. These types transcend every type of workplace — we guarantee you’ll find a few you recognize.

The Gossip
What they do:
Maybe there was some mistake in the hiring process, because The Gossip seems to be under the impression that their entire job description is “talking about other people.” Unfortunately for you, The Gossip lives for the latest office scandal, whether it’s actually true or not. The Gossip spends their days listening in on conversations, dropping hints, and tarnishing reputations. The most dangerous part about the Gossip is that they are everywhere. No conversation is safe when The Gossip is within earshot (they may pretend they’re listening to music on their headphones, but we know better.)

How to deal:
The Gossip can be difficult to deal with because more often than not they are outwardly very sweet and kind — to gain your trust and learn your secrets. Then, all bets are off if your secret somehow gets them higher in the pecking order. The best way to deal with The Gossip, in our opinion, is just to ignore them. And whatever you do, don’t give them details about your own life or repeat what they have said. Before you repeat a so-called juicy tidbit, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it harmless? Is it necessary? If it isn’t, don’t repeat it. Don’t encourage them!

The Slacker
What they do:
Think about it: Have you ever seen this person actually working hard? Ever? We thought so! Your office enemy is an expert at working hard to get absolutely nothing done. No matter what it takes, The Slacker will make sure someone else is breaking a sweat.

How to deal:
We suggest making sure you document every dropped project and missed deadline, that way you’ll be covered in case the boss decides to take action. If it gets really bad, it’s also worth saving every email from that person so that you have extra evidence in the event they promise to help you and don’t deliver. Good luck, and keep working hard!

The Suck-Up
What they do:
Doing all that hard work just doesn’t seem to get you the credit, right? Sounds familiar. Let us introduce you to the human leech — also known as The Suck-Up. While making friends with the higher-ups is their highest priority, they don’t seem to care at all what their coworkers think.

How to deal:
Why not try tooting your own horn a bit? If you’re not getting the recognition you deserve, what are you waiting for? Go out and take it yourself. There’s nothing wrong with letting your supervisors know what you want and why you deserve it.

The Complainer
What they do:
No job is too big or too small for the complainer to whine about. Whether things are so slow that they’re dying of boredom or so busy they’re going to go insane, you’re sure to hear about it.

How to deal:
Like The Gossip, The Complainer is impossible to quiet. Cheering them up doesn’t work, suggesting solutions doesn’t work, even complaining along with them doesn’t work. You know what does work? A sincere sentence (it only works if you sound like you really mean it): “You know, that sounds terrible. I don’t know how you deal with all these problems.” You’re just acknowledging that this is a huge issue for The Complainer, which it undoubtedly is. Try it and see if they don’t clam up in shock that someone actually listened to them.

The Control Freak
What they do:
Control freaks have absolutely no sense of proportion in the workplace. From the official (mandatory!) font of company memos to how the dishwasher should be organized, they’re sure to have an opinion, and they’re sure to demand that you follow it. Their actions are demeaning and annoying because their actions say, “You’re incompetent” and “I can’t trust you” all at once.

How to deal:
Just remember that at least The Control Freak is staying busy with pointless details, allowing you to tackle the really important things. Stay as calm as you can when dealing with The Control Freak: Be very patient, treat them with kindness and speak very slowly. Control Freaks need to be heard, but usually don’t have much to say. If you show that you understand them, they are more likely to move on and micromanage the next guy.

Click here for the entire Co-Worker Guide.

How many of these co-workers do you encounter at work?

How have you managed your working relationship with them?

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